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KAKO SE SOOČITI Z NASILNEŽI NA DELOVNEM MESTU?

11. 6. 2024

Niso redki primeri, ko se zaposleni v kolektivu soočajo z enim ali več sodelavci, ki so pasivno-agresivni, prekinjajo nadrejenega, se sprenevedajo, oporekajo navodilom, s katerimi se ne strinjajo. Skratka, so verbalno nasilni in slabijo vzdušje v ekipi. Kako se pogovoriti z njimi, kaj jim sploh reči?

Verjetno poznate pregovor “Prijatelje si lahko izbereš, družine pa ne”? No, točno to večinoma velja tudi za vaše sodelavce.

V službi smo del ekipe ali skupine ljudi, s katerimi se morda nikoli ne bi odločili za sodelovanje, druženje ob koncu tedna, neredko sploh ne bi bili v našem krogu ljudi. In vendar se morate kljub pomanjkanju naklonjenosti do teh ljudi z njimi ne le razumeti, temveč tudi sodelovati pri uresničevanju pomembnih projektov. Kot da že delo, ki ga morate opravljati, ni dovolj zahteven izziv. Če k temu dodamo še različne osebnosti, edinstvene izkušnje in slabo, celo nasilno vedenje, je čudež, da je delo sploh opravljeno.

Verbalni nasilneži so velika težava. Naše raziskave o verbalnem nasilju in ustrahovalnem vedenju na delovnem mestu kažejo, da ljudje, ki ponižujejo ali verbalno zlorabljajo svoje sodelavce, pogosto za svoja dejanja ne odgovarjajo. Pogosto menimo, da so pač takšni in jih nič, kar naredimo ali rečemo, ne bo spremenilo.

Zato se odločimo, da ne rečemo ničesar, se držimo stran, se izogibamo delu z njimi in se izgovarjamo na druge. Toda prav naša odločitev, da ne storimo nič, se ne odzovemo, ne pomaga nikomur, niti nasilnežu, da bi spremenil svoje vedenje. Nasprotno, so tiha potrditev, da je njegovo vedenje sprejemljivo. Kot bi dejal moj nekdanji sodelavec David Maxfield:

“Molk ni zlato, je dovoljenje.”

Zato je pomembno, da se odločite ukrepati. Pokažite sodelavcu, da se ne strinjate z njegovim škodljivim vedenjem. Sodelavcu pojasnite vpliv posledic njegovega vedenja. Ali vas bo slišal in sprejel vaše sporočilo, ni odvisno od vas, lahko pa prispevate k temu, da poskušate spremeniti socialno dinamiko v svoji ekipi. Pred pogovorom z verbalnimi nasilneži storite naslednje:

1. korak: Preverite svojo zgodbo

Preden spregovorite, se ustavite in preverite zgodbo, ki si jo pripovedujete o svojem sodelavcu. Opisali ste ga kot pasivno-agresivnega, nekoga, ki se spreneveda in izziva druge, kadar se z njimi ne strinja. Čeprav se ta vedenja zdijo neprijetna, imajo lahko tudi drugo plat.

Upoštevajte, da je mogoče, da je vaš pogled na sodelavca nepravično obarvan. Morda ima na primer sodelavec čuden smisel za humor, z veseljem deli ideje, vendar ima težave z jasnim izražanjem svojih stališč, ali pa se ne boji spregovoriti, kadar se ne strinja z odločitvijo (vodje), za katero meni, da je škodljiva za podjetje.

Če so te lastnosti predstavljene na ta način, so lahko koristne za ekipo. Če se po preučitvi situacije še vedno odločite, da dejanja nasilnega sodelavca škodijo vzdušju v ekipi in se je treba z njim soočiti, vam bo dejanje izpodbijanja zgodbe, ki jo pripovedujete o njem, pomagalo k pogovoru pristopiti bolj sočutno.

2. korak: Razmišljajte drugače

Ko se nekdo grdo obnaša, nas večina trpi v tišini, ker razmišljamo le o tveganjih, ki jih prinaša pogovor o težavah. Tisti, ki spregovorijo in od drugih zahtevajo odgovornost, običajno ravnajo ravno nasprotno. Najprej pomislijo na tveganja, ki jih prinaša odsotnost pogovora.

Če se odločite, da ne boste povedali ničesar, bo vaš sodelavec še naprej žalil sodelavce in uničeval vzdušje med sodelavci. Delo – in veselje ob opravljanju dela – se bosta v takšnih razmerah poslabšala. Tveganje za slabe odnose med sodelavci in slašbe rezultate je namreč veliko.

Ko se boste lotili pogovora in vas bo zajel dvom, ali ravnate prav, pomislite na ta tveganja in ukrepajte samozavestno.

3. korak: Predstavite dejstva

Ko boste sodelavca nagovorili glede njegovega neprimernega vedenja, se držite konkretnih dejstev. Izločite vsakršno obsojanje ali provokativno izražanje, saj bi to zgolj sprožilo obrambne odzive. Na primer ne recite: “Tvoje jezikanje resnično moti vse v ekipi.” Namesto tega navedite dejstva in bodite natančni. Morda takole: “Pogosto dvomiš v odločitve, o katerih se je ekipa dogovorila, in ko to počneš, to uniči zagon in povzroči veliko nepotrebnega dela. Nekateri sodelavci mislijo, da jim ne zaupaš.”

4. korak: Predstavite posledice

Privzemajte, da se verbalni nasilneži ne zavedajo v celoti, kako njihovo vedenje vpliva na druge.

Posamezniku povejte, kakšne so posledice, kadar je pasivno-agresiven, izpodbija navodila in prekinja sodelavce v ekipi. Delite vaše videnje, kako takšno vedenje vpliva na vas, druge sodelavce, stranke, delovne projekte itd. Dajte mu priložnost, da vidi posledice svojega vedenja na rezultate, odnose v ekipi in svoj ugled.

5. korak: Postavite meje

Nasilnežu sporočite, kaj pričakujete – kako naj v prihodnje ravna z vami.

Povejte mu, kakšno vedenje pričakujete od njega in vseh ostalih v ekipi, da boste lahko delali v pozitivnem in učinkovitem okolju. Zahtevajte njegovo zavezanost k boljšemu vedenju. Spodbudite ga, da si poišče usposabljanje, morda ga lahko zagotovi celo podjetje. Seznanite ga lahko tudi s predvidenimi posledicami, ki bodo nastopile, če se bo neprimerno vedenje nadaljevalo. Morda se boste ponovno oglasili, morda boste vključili druge ali pa se boste morali pritožiti kadrovski službi.

Skrb za odgovornost ljudi je eden najzahtevnejših ključnih pogovorov, s katerimi se boste srečali v karieri. Postavlja vas v položaj ranljivosti in nelagodja. In za večino ljudi zgodovina potrjuje, da bomo soočenje z verbalnimi nasilneži opravili slabo – bodisi bomo preveč čustveni, preveč ostri ali preveč plašni

Ampak – vaja dela mojstra. Upam, da vam bodo ti nasveti pomagali, da boste v pogovor o odgovornosti vstopili bolj samozavestno in umirjeno – in bili uspešni.

avtor: Brittney Maxfield

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Author

  • Brittney Maxfield

    Brittney Maxfield je avtorica portala Crucial Learning, kjer spodbuja ozaveščanje in sprejemanje veščin, s področja upravljanja kadrov in marketinga. Piše tudi knjige in predava, sicer pa zase pravi, da najraje preživlja čas s svojimi tremi čudovitimi otroki in glasbeno navdahnjenim možem.

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